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[21 Apr 2008|06:11am] add my neww ljj ayy_yo_steff post comment

[14 Apr 2008|06:30am] new lj! ayy_yo_steff add me asap. post comment

[13 Feb 2008|06:19am] did i mention i was making a new journal? this ones depressing and trashy. post comment

[28 Jan 2008|03:46pm] things have been whtever. not much to say. homecoming week was amazing at school. ultras soon. i need mad money; bye post comment

[06 Aug 2007|11:25pm] as much as i know you want to lurk & know what's going on.. which is why i detail it, & don't care.. things are getting personal. and i wouldn't love anything more than to know you don't know whats going on. so you can bother yourself thinking, & assuming what's going on. bye bitches. 5 comments|post comment

[12 Jan 2007|09:50pm] [ mood | sad ] this week hasn't been the worst, but hasn't been the best either. i find that my relationship with my mom is destroyed pretty much. i no longer have the open laughing all the time, give eachother advice liek shes my bestfriend relationship. i dont know if its me.. or her. i still havn't figured it out yet but its confusing me and leaving me completely blank. this all makes me start thinking of the past.. since i was a little girl. she wasn't the best mother. she was the mother that let all her boyfriends abuse her children and never defended them. the mother that worked way too much to provide us with everything, when we mostly just needed her around more often. the mom that when she was off of work, she went out with her boyfriends. the kind that it was unacceptable to let her know what orientation you were because she literally wouldn't touch you, or even talk to you. the kind that instead of being supporting of it, didn't allow me to tell her what i was going through for 3 years straight, so she could help me. but i still choose to look at only the negative aspects about her, which makes me have more anger towards her. on the posotive side, she was a good mom at other times. i choose to have the relationship my brother and her had, if you can even call no communication a relationship. post comment

[08 Jan 2007|08:23pm] [ mood | cold ] today, for most kids was probly the worst day in a long time. today just wasn't my day whats so ever. i wasn't ready to go back to the same rutein, which included not seeing anthony, as much as i did allll christmas break. i just got frustrated, and including everythign with school, and other things this morning and i just broke down. i tried not to just because i felt soo ridiculous, but when i did i felt way better. and anthony made me feel WAY WAY better.. but i came to find out i wasn't the only one :] im about to go home. finally. and im just guna sleep. tommarow i see anthony, which sooo makes my day and pretty much week! :D 4 more months and were out of school <3 2 comments|post comment

[27 Dec 2006|09:43pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | johnny giovanni and the zombie pit crew ] i think its time that i start doing college classes at night time. because as soon as i graduate.. i wont wait one second, im going to new york. and i will.. will get into nyu. you watch. just look back to the first day you encountered _____. who would of ever known youd end up ______________ today. edit: i just got off the fone with anthony :) and i felt all ofyou should know that.. because that makes me cooler ;] post comment

[03 Dec 2006|02:58pm] [ mood | crushed/crappy ] look @ him. soo, for some reason i feel somewhat guilty and as if its my fault. i was out there being an idiot, rolling drinking partying out, while he got into a massive car accident. i feel as if .. if i were with him, maybe i could've prevented it. i feel like its my fault, that i wasn't a good bestfriend to be there when that happened, to help him, to prevent it, to anything. but i was out there being a fucking idiot, while this happened, clueless as can be. and now hes in jackson trauma center, with his 3rd vertebrae in his neck.. broken/fractured, god knows. they're going to do some mri's and see if he needs surgery or what. and that he'll be in the hospital for about six weeks. idk what to do. i spoke to his mom and shes like devastated, and i told my mom and she almost had a heart attack. jorge is one of the greatest people ive ever met, always bothering me, and making fun of my stupidity, and always being there for me for the past like.. idk how many years. hes soo nice and sweet. you'd be lucky to have him as a friend. hes true. blahh. im going to get dressed and go see him. i ♥ jorge antonio grau :) to top it all off, i want to kill the person who gave him alcohol. 2 comments|post comment

[22 Oct 2006|07:24am] i just woke up and its 7:21 am.. just to clean my fcking puke. i still feel like shit, and im still dizzy. im neverr... ever.. everr.. everr... EVER!! drinking again. for like 3 weeks. godd.. i rather like be shot than feel liek tihs. && drinking with out r-money is gayy. post comment

[23 Jul 2006|12:55am] AMIGOS SOLAMENTE! comment to be added. 22 comments|post comment

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